It's become apparent to me that in the last few years I have developed a condition that I'd like to call "Vehiculus Irritatus".
The condition relates directly to the following vehicle-related triggers:
"My Family" stickers (no one cares that you have bred)
Frangipani stickers (I don't know why these annoy me. They just do)
Personalised number plates. (705SER)
Preachy bumper stickers. (God loves you even if you're a bad driver)
Red noses. (Cars don't have noses)
Reindeer antlers. (A car is not reindeer)
Red noses and reindeer antlers on the same car. (It doesn't matter what you put on your car, it will never, ever be Rudolph)
When a trigger is activated, I display certain unique characteristics including swearing, excessive sighing, aggressive sighing, excessive swearing, colourful language, filthy sentences that make no sense but feel great, occasional physical tantrums, grunting, WTFing, shrugging my shoulders and shaking my head in disbelief, and (my personal favourite) asking why over and over again but never being satisfied with the answer.
I am seeking help with my condition, along with my other condition that I like to call "Billboardus outofdatus" which relates directly to any and all billboards that are advertising events that have already been and gone.
Fullysic out.
You'll be absolutely thrilled to know that we have antlers AND a big red nose on our car. We can't wait to be able to show you and to drive around with you.
ReplyDeleteYou're off your head.... But I agree with EVERYTHING you've said.....
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